As I Am

“As a sinner who has been redeemed, I can acknowledge that I am often unloving, irritable, angry, and resentful with those closest to me.  When I go to church I can leave my white hat at home and admit that I have failed.  God not only loves me as I am, but also knows me as I am.  Because of this I don’t need to apply spiritual cosmetics to make myself presentable to him.  I can accept ownership of my poverty and powerlessness and neediness.” – Brennan Manning

There are times in my life when I really suck at being a Christian.  I do not follow Christ well when I fail to have grace, and I am grumpy. Not too long ago someone said I was moody, and it is true.  If I’m having a bad day, I have a tendency to let people know about it.  It often times goes beyond transparency and lands into the area of, “Don’t test me.”

That isn’t loving.  That isn’t “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt…” (Colossians 4:5).  I fall short often in my communication with others, and this just isn’t good.  However, God is good.

I’m grateful for a God that does a couple of things extremely well:

1) Loves His creation – God loves and provides for His creation.  There are times that excruciatingly difficult, and sometimes this isn’t in the way of physical needs but spiritual.  God loves His creation, though.  We ARE NOT crap.  God loves us even in our brokenness.  He knows every crack in our heart, and He still loves us.

2) Grows His creation – God loves His creation, but that doesn’t mean that He lets His creation stagnate and stay the way it is.  God grows His creation.  Though my communication is awful sometimes, God places the conviction in my heart to get better and to be the first that seeks reconciliation.  When spiritual stagnation does occur, God forces me out of my own stagnation, often times with a very hard, sometimes painful, situation.

God does not require that we change ourselves to come to Him.  However, if you decide to come to God, you will be changed.  He loves us way too much to allow us to stay where we are.

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